JVP from JAGUAR was left in charge of the WAGS report this week 17.10.18. Time to make a cuppa and settle in for a good read.
This is no fun and totally detracts from the pleasant feeling of winning so I got Roger Dowdney to write the report. Thanks Rog.
It was a lovely day. The sun shone brightly. The wind blew lightly. It was a pussycat day; despite our delaminated heady that makes a hessian bag look wind proof. GO JAGUAR.
The light wind to 10knots from E.NE. JAGUAR was the first MBBC boat away, actually on time. Usually it is still sails all over the place and start time plus 3-5minutes. It is not often that my sailing partner off DREAM WEAVER gets to see no boats in front. In fact his navigation system is totally based on follow the boat or more generally boats in front, but he remembered something Stan Cox told him about a water tower on Bribie so we headed of in the general direction. Fortunately we spotted another boat in front, how could it be, a sign (navigational that is) from God to assist us chasing down the Holly Grail (not misspell) of a 6 pack of Great Northern. No wonder no one rushes on Wednesdays. Or was it the first boat from the Dark side fleet.
A nice broadish reach to DBay Red, time for a leisurely beer and a wonderful really rare rear view of a fleet of sails behind us instead of in front. But my wise and handsome sailing buddy knew that that pretty view represented the Good, the Bad and the Ugly and of course the MARANS,
The Good (only a few, Silverado and Seraya (not because of Hank, sorry I meant Rocky but Lorraine of course, and that noisy NZER Mike on Jenesis). Of course Jaguar belongs to this group to but He/She was not in the following fleet she was the viewer not the viewee.
The Bad (Zingara) all his other mates like Jupiter have to work and pay taxes on Wednesday, I love em.
The Ugly (Grecher and Double D). I have enough of German in my life with a son in law, a car, a caravan and even a German repair man Wolfgang, without having boats as well. And how about Double D bad handicap management, losing 15 minutes in 3 weeks . REALLY if ever a winner was a loser.
And the Marans. They are a new family that have infiltrated our fleet. (Truly they are welcome, we are like the Labor Party anyone can come in) They weren’t all there but there is enough of them always to be a bloody nuisance. There are the bi-marans, they like to call them Cata Marans, but Jaguar resents that and in these days of victimhood we have to respect his/her feelings. And as if two hulls racing against one hull boats is not enough we have the TRI Marans. Today the MARANS included Nice Try, Endorfin, Prophecy and Rimfire.
Now back to the race. The spectators on the Dbay Red marked booed as the first boat went around (remember that was a dark side boat) and roared and cheered and sang What’s New Pussy Cat, as the first Light Side Boat, Jaguar rounded the mark without jvp hitting his head on the Boom.
The second verse same as the first. The second leg same as the first. We kept following the dark shadow of the dark side boat as I knew he was doing the same course as us and he does the same course twice a week 52weeks of the year and has been doing it for at least 5 years so that is some 500 times. Gee those dark side boats love variety.
As we went down this leg, the rear view started to get ugly as the following fleet neared (well they were still 800-1000m behind). But we recognised the shape all god loving monohulls fear. The praying mantis shape of the MARANS, was led by the guy who really does try. But he is a NICE TRY. And nice try he did floating his pretty blue spinnaker to hide his dastardly three (not two) hulls.
We got around Caboolture Yellow closing on the dark side boat and with the MARANS closing on us. “The MARANS will have us,” I shouted over the howling (well whispering would not sound right would it) wind. We rounded the mark and now we needed no boat to guide us because even our Dream Weaver veteran could see the leads of the light side fleet as well as those of the dark side mob, so we tightened up and headed for home hands shaking as we firmed up.
BUT then the dreaded MARANs rounded the mark and low and behold they changed course. They were cross-dressing and have joined the other fleet because instead of chasing down little pussycat they headed for the swamps (sorry, wetlands) near DBAY. Jaguar pushed on passing the dark side boat, down wind of courteous cause and with a courteous Hi Keith that was acknowledged by a grunt and a slowly raised hand that you knew did not want to go up in greeting or did it.
About this time the MARANS realised there mistake and tacked just before they hit the mud. TOO LATE WE BOOMED. Don’t think they heard us.
Anyway to cut a LONG STORY SHORT. (My mate Dave Meaton always says that and you just know you are in for a long, long story about a dog, one that started about motorbikes, go figure. And he calls me Yaddah Yaddah)
Jaguar crosses the line to cheers and claps and rousing verse of That is new Pussy Cat Some smart Arse in the crowd making reference to the unusual occurrence of us crossing line first. We were followed by the MARANS, with Merv adjusting to life without glasses finally saw the finish line and crossed in Rim Fire followed by the Good Guys in Silverado and Rocky winning the day coming in fourth in Seraya.
I think I will get Roger to stick to helming his writing is too verbose.
Editor note: WOWSA, I think JVP needs a book deal, even when writing under a pseudonym . Thanks to DMC from Sunshine Boat Sales for his ongoing sponsorship.
Next week’s Start Times here: MBBC WAGS results from 17 Oct 2018